| adaptation |
[01 Sep 2008|04:04am] |
i figure that every once and a while, you experience a mighty low... like a time when you cant really figure how youre going to put all your energy you have together so that everything will work in favor for your pre-meditated life following this low... if that makes any sense to you... i just figure, sometimes your lows are only there because of the highs you expect in life... sometimes if my high is to eat some ice cream, the day can make it better for me... if its rainy, it doesnt mean my ice cream tastes different, it means i might enjoy it differently... same with if it happens to be really hot and sunny out... when a friend of mine makes it through a rough patch, because they are determined to be happy and good again, it helps me to know that any dose of encouragement i give them, can be used as fuel towards a happy being. through a situation i wouldnt prefer to be in maybe....
tomorrow i am leaving vancouver and going to toronto, i dont know how long i will be there, i dont really know why i am going, what the significance is. i miss a certain someone and cant wait to re-unite. my life feels so messy, but theres nothing in it to mess it up... i just feel like a floater right now.
i hope you are all well and enjoy your life.
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| home sick |
[12 May 2008|01:07am] |
my mom did the best job at setting up a home.
my first experience with home sickness was when i was around 10 or something, i went to a christian bible camp for a week by myself and didnt know anyone... the camp was beautiful, more than anything i could imagine, but it was just a site that was rented to whoever wanted to run the camp... i remembered it being so nice out, and there was hockey sticks, and basketballs and gyms, and pools, and creeks, all for me to use however i wanted pretty much everyday, and for some reason, i was sad, i didnt miss my mom really, everything supplied was awesome, it was a retreat for kids basically... i knew she was close by, it took an hour to get there, but for some reason, i had this anxiety of wanting something else than what i had... the weather was something i remember every summer.. something only the mountains of chilliwackish erea could hold with the greenn, and the flowers, creeks, mountains, beautiful.... i still to this day dont really truely understand why i was so bummed and wanted to "go home"...
when i was five i was sick and in the hospital, i dont really remember a whole lot from that erea... certain moments stand out, and im constantly reminded of other memories when family remind me about it... i spent time sick at home... but not home sick...
ive discovered that it is hard for me to determine what i can consider a home... a home is sort of nearly built up from the parents, or the certain person who lives there to start with, but can your belongings just occupy space, even if its a really nice space, comfortable in every aspect... can if feel like home... can you push yourself to make home where you love to be? i have loved being in certain ereas and wished never to move, and knowing i was renting it, or living with people who couldnt be relied on as reliable life long living partners.. can you settle and make home a temporary thing? i sometimes feel like im achored in langley, because ive lived the longest there, but there are many things about the erea i do not like at all... things that started getting worse through the time ive lived there... are these the things that make me feel like its home? i can say that i feel that same sort of vibe i felt when i was a kid at camp, a majority of the time in every place ive lived in...
i feel like my concept of home is unrealistic, somehow i can never reach what home feels like, i can never feel the releif of anxiety that i have... about being at home for a day... or home at all.. wierd huh...
i think everyone sort of has their own concept and reality of what home is, and i wonder every day if anyone else feels the same, my dreams of what i could make a home, are still only temporary, even if i live there till i die, its only till then that its a home, but is this just something that i will have to live with? that my home, can never really be a comfty home? my ideas are simple, and require minimal money, but somehow i need to still rent/buy/own/debt/debt/debt.... what is a more comfty thing to live with, knowing you might never feel at home, or never feeling at home because youre always paying for it all? all this home talk... just something to think about really...
i love thinking about home though.
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[21 Sep 2007|01:22pm] |
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found the livejournal.
yeah.i move a lot.
moving to 28th in a few days.
rain.
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| may |
[01 May 2006|08:37pm] |
ok.
i moved.
23rd and st cathrines.
4 bdrm. a drunk lives in the basement.
our house was left a mess from previous tenants.
not a fan of being the primary tenant.
our landlord is trying to screw us over already.
its kinda lonesome now. glad the summer's on its way.
love you.
kyle.
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[28 Apr 2006|10:57am] |
respect.
if you think i didnt do this.
tell me how.
langley talks.
you know it does.
good times.
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| hump day. |
[04 Apr 2006|07:58pm] |
| [ |
music |
| |
hot snakes peel sessions |
] |
today i had the day off so i went for a bike ride to granville island with thena. it was fun rippin around on bikes for a while... then we ate fish and chips... now it sucks...
got to hang out in the dog park for a while today... dogs are pretty funny... picked up the pride tiger album... pretty awesome... all i gotta say is the weather rules...
the posi-cold just wont go away. maybe its better that way. i hope more people get it.
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[31 Mar 2006|03:04pm] |
no one uses this thing anymore anyways.. i think its actually kind of better that way....
in any case...
-Carpenter
-Killer Whales
-Steal Neal & the Rusty Tools
(guest appearance Christopher Smith)
will be playing a show at ethical addictions on Saturday April 1st.
come and see.
show is at 8.
ok.
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| closin |
[15 Mar 2006|03:13pm] |
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well, im working till 11:00 tonight if anyone wants to come drink tea.
our town cafe.
kingsway, b-way.
vivid dreams last night. woah!
i find out if we get the house tonight.
cross your fingers. dot your eyes.
serious.
top ten.
1.americano
2.increasin the peace in the dreams.
3.sad clown bad dub.
4.cheap walkmans at value villiage.
5.452 E12th
6.GHOST HOUSE (would have been #1, but i gave my disc away.)
7.sunny clouds
8.$9.50
9."youre so fucking cute i want to smash your face with a sledge hammer"
10.intunation.sp?
thena is on flikr. for all those girls who like nice dresses.
http://flickr.com/photos/amyhoney/tags/thena/
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[18 Sep 2005|12:10pm] |
also if anyone knows how i can get ahold of steph coleman, or dave coleman, let me know.
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| last night i met wheellsss |
[18 Sep 2005|12:00pm] |
all i can really say is lastnight felt like it should have been the last night of my life or something, it felt epic at every moment.. saw a lot of people i havnt seen in a long time, and boy oh boy ... after the candy bar(witch i had to leave early and wasnt too stoked about), we headed down to a keg party.... it ended with police... you know when you see a bunch of people on tv getting hassled by cops, and you go, well... "they should have just walked off and they wouldnt have had that problem"... wrong... it doesnt work that way... these cops are assholes.. there were about 10 of them... maybe a few more, or a few less... and out of all of them, only one of them was i able to calmly talk to without being inturrupted or insulted within a matter of phrases... my friend got taken to jail lastnight for trying to get some belongings from inside... not only taken to jail, but nearly beat up by these cops beside the house... i yelled... maybe innapropriate, but... it got more than enough attention and the pummeling and beating stopped... the walk home was intense... 2:30am in strathcona... it was calm but it was an atmosphere i am not comfortable with, or have really experianced all that much...
my sleep was awesome, i had a dream that this beautiful african princess gave me a little black bead that looks like a disco ball...
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[16 Sep 2005|11:05am] |
| [ |
music |
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some panflute melodies provided by the cafe |
] |
its been a while since ive been up on this internet.. and i have a few dollars so i decided id indulge in the internet cafe today, i found this new place with a nicer atmosphere, and better computers, and cheaper... so i have no complaints today... the rain is swell its very warm and humid out. i have another week to find a job or im out on my own here...
other than jobs... im trying to find a new place to live as well, i am finding the bachelor suite shared, is not as enjoyable, or spacious as i intended it being, im finding myself constantly getting rid of jackets, shirts, pants, random whatever that has no storage in my house, and, as much as i like getting rid of things because i seriously do... i love minimizing my "materials", i thing more space and light is needed, im not sure what would be ideal, anything under 900 bones, and not an appt. or basement suite.. so im very much limiting myself.. idealy id really like to find a tiny little rancher or something, but vancouver doesnt quite have the most abbundant supply of cute small houses... (or so it seems)...
ive been using Dustins drum machine and sampler quite a bit lately, and that sampler is a blast... i can feel a very nice creative winter coming on... im pretty excited and motivated about it.. solitude has been nice lately, but being antsy at night doesnt help... i dont know if its a shared feeling or not, but it has been very hard for me since ive moved back to vancouver seeing all the homeless people, and people addicted to whatever it is they are hooked on... not in a scary way, but it will seriously throw my mind into some wacky warp or something, like ill be all fine walking around then ill see this dood totally effed up, and i wont be scared or anything, and maybe it is the same where he or she doesnt know what is really going on with them, but our bodys, as humans im sure, as living as they are, probably have some sort of idea... and mentally... i dont know.. do they loose hope, once and for all. and their sole purpose is to obtain whatever it is theyre addicted to? is it temporary? i mean... you cant say shooting them will put them out of their misery, because we dont even know if it is misery... these people are everywhere, and im finding it hard to be juggled around mentally, its not even a struggle to talk to these people.. or... whatever... but.. are they comfortable asking for change from assholes everyday?
on a bright side... i dont know who else can agree with me on this one, but... fall is on its way again, and ive been having huge flashbacks of last year, i love it when the heat starts going away, and the cool air and brown leaves appear again.. even the rain is pleasant. i remember riding my bike home from EA in langley, along Old Yale Rd, towards cori walravens moms house, where i was living at the time, and that will probably be a memory i will hold forever. even though it was alongside a golfcourse and on the other side some barns, and farmhomes, i felt so open... being surrounded by these huge trees beside the road, leaving a little bit of space for me to peer through and see the blue sky, or stars and moon... and the fog... when it was foggy, and the light would cast shadows, all that was lit was the fog, in this thick grey cloud surrounding everything. fall is a wonderful time. people are clothed in their scarfs and toques, and mittens and most of the time bustlin around with umbrellas... charish september. on the 22nd is the first day of fall (or so i heard). 3:00.
anyways, i guess im outta here, feel free to email me, i check my account about once or 2 times a week.
i hope everyone is doing well. i encourage you to love. summer is over, so it will be easier.
trust me.
xo
kyle huck.
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| read jude to keep your faith up a bit. |
[28 Aug 2005|01:39pm] |
im doin this at lugs. the milk tastes kind of wierd in my coffee...
i had to get rid of my cat yesterday... rough times... i dont know how much time i have left...
if anyone wants to hang out this week.. call me...
my bday is again.
aug 31. probably just gonna take it easy. hope everyones well.
call me.
604 838 3404.
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[28 Jul 2005|02:27am] |
| [ |
mood |
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 grumpy |
] |
| [ |
music |
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none. this comp is effed. |
] |
the internet. is foreign to me again, ive nearly forgotten how to type... where are all the right keys... backspace and delete are my favorite buttons... anyways...
-working construction.
-living on main and 3rd.
thats about it.
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[28 May 2005|01:14pm] |
| [ |
mood |
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 listless |
] |
| [ |
music |
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brother ali |
] |
kyle, you're an Observer!
That means you're one of the more kind-hearted people around. You are unusually intuitive, and you probably understand yourself, as well as others. That also means you're a good mediator — though you may prefer to spend more quiet time on your own than most.
Because of the self-knowledge you already possess, you are better equipped than many to steer your life in the right direction. Understanding more about the components of your personality will reveal unique information that even people like you might not realize. And the better you know yourself, the more confident you'll be making decisions that affect your life.
How do we know this about you? Because while taking the test, you answered questions that measure the basic traits that make up your personality. We scored your answers on different personality characteristics and discovered not only that you're an Observer, but where you stand on those proven
scientific scales.
if the computer can define my personality from a few questions. how deep am i?
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| the sky went black and i went deaf. |
[07 May 2005|10:59am] |
i fainted the other night.
i face planted into this grip tape covered plank used as a side walk.
my lip, hand, and chin are cut.
pretty awesome.
wpp tonight.
last show in a "long time".
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| not so frequently |
[24 Apr 2005|01:53am] |
| [ |
mood |
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 sore |
] |
| [ |
music |
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weakerthans in the c0ff33 shop |
] |
this week i worked. i got a job and worked as a Props assistant for a photo shoot. it was fun. construction, painting, photos, raking dirt, lifting heavy old (three hundred years) firniture... free breakfast and lunch (catering styles)... my back hurts, i miss my house, but wanted to get out for a day, im in langley, i hung out at benoits with joel, jonny, kyle good, myk, dan, and a few others throughout the night, kass, and aaron were around in the day also... got to see scott and sarah, ian, it was just a good visit.. now, im going to sleep at havers place, and go home tomorrow morning for the flea market, and some breakfast, its been a good weekend, i go back to work monday for one day just doing a shop cleen up at the warehouse location... then... im off work for a while... pretty awesome..
im drinking a latte with raspberry in it for my moms sake.. i miss my mom and sister also... hope all is well with everyone, i wanna wish you a good day!
xo
huck
my back is killing me.
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| reflect.II |
[15 Apr 2005|12:19pm] |
| [ |
mood |
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 complacent |
] |
| [ |
music |
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grouch |
] |
"I don't wanna see you cry now
I wonder why you were pushed to the point
Where you felt you couldn't take no more
Look in my eyes now
I wanna show you that I care
And I can't stand to see you hurting
I love the one you are
I'm not too far away
To help you if you when you need that
If you're my mom, my brother, my friend
My lover, my sister
I wanna wish ya a good day
I wanna wish ya a good day"
- grouch
( Read more... )
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| reflect. |
[15 Apr 2005|12:35am] |
| [ |
mood |
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 contemplative |
] |
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music |
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nothing less - living legends |
] |
"The first step was birth
Now forever cursed to analyze his self-worth
The second step was belief
He had to make that move before he even grew teeth
The third step, respect awareness
He could trip over the next step if he's careless
That next step, number four, was love
Can't touch it without stepping the other three above
As he froze for a moment
Ignoring the remaining ones
He was approaching, focus stolen
Looking down at his hands to see what he was holding
Nothing, empty
No choice but to keep going
The fifth step felt like a misstep
It was a re-evaluation of the first four
The anxiety, fear of what it hurts for
Caught in somewhere between the earths core
And the first floor
When he finally made it to step six
He could no longer see it for what it is
All of his views and family and life were askew
Number six had been twisted by the previous two
The last step, the seventh
Was the only thing left that kept him outside of heaven
One last breath and everything could be pleasant
Life through death, man's final lesson"
-slug
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kylehuck's journal
